Allergies or Crystal Meth?

My name is John Hansen. And I have allergies.

For the better part of the past decade, I have been on a never ending search to find allergy medication that actually works. Whether the company stops manufacturing the drug, insurance stops covering it, or it just plain doesn’t work; finding a consistent source of allergy medication has been a “work in progress” at best.

When the place I work for changed insurance companies in July of this year, I found out the hard way that my current allergy medication is not covered under my new plan. When I called my doctor’s office, the nurse suggested I try Zyrtec D as an over the counter alternative. Having no choice in the matter, I headed off to Target to pick some up.

I walked up to the pharmacy and said, “I’ll have one of those Zyrtec D’s over there, please.” The pharmacist’s non-verbal response could best be described as “restrained hesitation.”

Why is this? Apparently, the sudafed found in Zyrtec D is a crucial ingredient in making Crystal Meth. Okay – I realize this is a big problem in the United States, seeing how it’s relatively easy to make and all of the ingredients are legal. But – now stay with me, because this may in fact blow your mind – is it POSSIBLE that people are ACTUALLY buying over the counter medication to use it for it’s intended purpose?

I’ll give you a moment to digest this.

So yes, all I’m asking for is maybe the pharmacist could open her mind to the POSSIBILITY that I want Zyrtec D solely for my allergies and not for any other illegal purpose. It’s a hard concept to grasp but if I could have my next trip to the Target pharmacy be without dirty looks, that would be fantastic. Because I am John Hansen, and I have allergies.

Published by TV's John Hansen

I love power metal. I like writing and telling stories. I like trying to make people laugh. I like making myself laugh more. I like pizza too. I also like writing stories about making pizza laugh.

Join the Conversation

1 Comment

  1. Hey… did you get that “medicine” I asked you to pick up for me? Its the last ingredient I need… oh… um… is this a public post?!

    I hear ya… I’ve gotten the same look from people when I clearly have a cold and have to blow my nose between sentences. I’m all: “Yeah., yeah, the guy in the $5000 suit is trying to cook his own Crystal Meth … COME ON!!!”

Leave a comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: